A Haiku and Some Free Verse With Your Insomnia?

Why does the desire to write
Always spring from pain?
At least it does in my life.

Longing, losing, loneliness, claustrophobia.
From where does this last condition arise?
The first three, all in a similar vein, all with a striking hollow sound, all with tall and solemn "L"s leading the way.
But the last of these, with a letter to match my name and a full and vibrant sting that you just love to hate, is assuredly the worst of all.

Longing:
To desire with all of one's heart
So that all you can hear when he goes by is the throbbing of your own cardiovascular muscles
And how loud and annoying your own voice becomes.

Losing:
To be empty.
Your arms and legs are voids that ache to be filled but cannot be,
Because he is gone.

Loneliness:
To resign.
The heart is almost repaired; the sun feels so new on your face and you can almost taste it's golden beams,
But you know what you are missing.

Claustrophobia:
To die a little
For every hug, every kiss you receive,
Knowing that you must sentence someone to turmoil.

Fuck this, I want to be the crazy cat lady (if my heart would just let me).