"Hi, Ku!"

"Coming back from the beach house,
Worst insomnia
That I have felt in my life."

I've had really bad insomnia this last week, and I'm recently into writing haikus, so there ya go.

I watched three awesome movies this week that I think you've probably all seen, but I needed to catch up on. I watch Fight Club, Slumdog Millionaire, and Pulp Fiction. I think my favorite was Fight Club, possibly because I'm biased toward Edward Norton and Brad Pitt and movies that are incredibly self-aware. All three were pretty graphic films, but I feel like I grew as an artist by watching them.

In other news: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1-Oep9uNwM

That clip should improve your quality of life. I would write more things, but I'm scrambling to spend time with peeps before flying back to Alaska (and also to pack). So anyway, I love you all; have a great day.

Sincerely,
Caty

"The Road Goes Ever On And On..."

When things end, I usually get really upset and cling to any memory of the event I can get my hands on... unless it's a relationship. Oddly enough, I feel strangely free at the end of all of my amorous connections. I just like being a lone wolf, going stag, flying solo if you will. I kind of have this theory that I love romance in movies and books so much be cause I'm destined to never live that way myself. And maybe I just need to be okay with that... Maybe I am? At any rate, I don't have a great track record, and I'm ready to take a long break from trying to leap those hurdles. I'm hoping it'll be a good opportunity to do some soul-searching and get closer to God again.

I've been getting farther and farther away from Him and I'm pretty sure that's why my life has been rather lackluster in the spirit & soul department lately. I need to fix it, so here's hoping.

Sorry to lay a ton of bricks on you, but it had to be done.

Have a better day than me,
Love,
Caty

Mein Goodness, Three Posts In Three Days?!

BLARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I've been having trouble sleeping and stuff, and then I accidentally slept for 16 hours and now my brain is all funny and I'm just like WOAH.

In other news, you should check out the X-Files, because it rocks. Like a bunch.

I don't know why I decided this merited a post... I think I simply required some decompressing.

WELP!
Much Love,
Caty

A Haiku and Some Free Verse With Your Insomnia?

Why does the desire to write
Always spring from pain?
At least it does in my life.

Longing, losing, loneliness, claustrophobia.
From where does this last condition arise?
The first three, all in a similar vein, all with a striking hollow sound, all with tall and solemn "L"s leading the way.
But the last of these, with a letter to match my name and a full and vibrant sting that you just love to hate, is assuredly the worst of all.

Longing:
To desire with all of one's heart
So that all you can hear when he goes by is the throbbing of your own cardiovascular muscles
And how loud and annoying your own voice becomes.

Losing:
To be empty.
Your arms and legs are voids that ache to be filled but cannot be,
Because he is gone.

Loneliness:
To resign.
The heart is almost repaired; the sun feels so new on your face and you can almost taste it's golden beams,
But you know what you are missing.

Claustrophobia:
To die a little
For every hug, every kiss you receive,
Knowing that you must sentence someone to turmoil.

Fuck this, I want to be the crazy cat lady (if my heart would just let me).

Because I Can Restart This Blog Whenever I Durn Well Please!

So... It's been a while. A lot has happened. I don't know if I care to serenade you with that particular symphony, so all I'll say is that a lot has changed and I think it's for the best. I feel a tad awesomer, so there's that.

Things I'm into right now: David Bowayyyyy, Tim and Eric's Awesome Show Great Job!, Evangelion, The Smiths, and artichokes.

Things I've been up to: writing a play about the Great Depression, directing a play about video games, co-directing a play about Dissociative Identity Disorder, acting in two newly-written plays (penned by students) as well as "Into the Woods" by the crazed genius himself, and learning to knit all sorts of crazy things. And I also made myself a tumblr, 'cuz... why not?

Things you should leave this post with: the knowledge that you are super awesome and stuff, and that I make no promises about my posting frequency anymore (with good reason).

Much Love,
Caty

"LGBT: not Lettuce, Green Beans, and Tomatoes"

Okay, a lot of people are getting up in arms about President Obama voicing his support of legalized same-sex marriage. Most of the people that I encounter who are upset about this are Christians. Basically, according to the constitution, which secures Freedom of Religion in America, there is no legal reason that homosexuals should not be allowed to marry one another. The Christian community has no right to demand that people outside our belief system should follow our ideals.

Now, I don't agree with homosexuality, but it is no worse than any other sin. God will judge the homosexuals just as he will the proud, the conceited, the dishonest, and the cruel and cold-hearted. God will judge us not by our sins, but by whether or not we have accepted Jesus into our hearts. The manner in which many of my brothers and sisters in Christ target the LGBT community with calloused doctrine is disheartening to me. It is only with love, kindness, and gentleness that we can ever reach out to the lost. "Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone." Jesus himself never confronted people with their sins, but with his love and a solution for their earthly plight. Jesus' highest commandment was to "love God with all you heart, soul, mind, and strength; and to love your neighbor as yourself." Jesus wants us to love one another. Let's leave the judging to God. Our focus should be saving the lost, not correcting them before they're a student. Judgement only drives people away, and we don't want anyone sentenced to Hell.

I'm not claiming to be better than anyone else. I struggle and fail daily, hourly, with sin. I am not perfect. The good things about me reflect God's glory, not my own. We all are gifted uniquely, and we are all flawed just as uniquely. But let us love one another as Jesus wanted, "for our war is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities of evil and spiritual forces of darkness in the heavenly realms." ~Ephesians 6:12

My love to you all,
Caty

"It's a Beautiful Ville"

Remember last semester when I said I was going to review "Belleville" and didn't? Well I did, I just never posted it. Because I'm addle-brained. So now I'll take a few moments to tell you about it.

"Belleville" is a new play, that was very recently born here in Connecticut. It is set in Belleville, Paris, which is a shadier part of the city. A young couple lives there, and another couple are their upstairs landlords. The first couple have moved here for Zack's job as a doctor,while Abby stays at home and works on her art and fixes up the house.

At first, they appear to be happy and comfortable, definitely in love. But as the play goes on, the audience sees that Abby has some mental disorders to work through. Her mother has died a few years ago, and she has drawn obsessively close to her family. This unhealthy behavior has been emphasized by her sister's pregnancy. Zack, wanting to spend time with her and help her out of a depression-rife rut, continually tries to take the phone from her. Actually, he is constantly taking care of her. Abby acts much like a child, and Zack pays the price with heavy drug addiction.

But Zack isn't perfect either. It is revealed that he dropped out of med school and never had a job in Paris. Abby's discovery that they are actually living on zero revenue combined with her excessive paranoia and depression push her too far. She tries to commit suicide with a knife in the bathtub, under the guise of "washing off." Before Zack figures it out, he asks her if she ever regrets asking him to marry her, or wishes that he'd said no. She says "yes," she does wish that, but doesn't respond to a barrage of questions following. Zack panics, kicks down the door, and saves her life.

The couple seems to have a breakthrough, with Zack telling Abby how much he loves and cares for her, his wife. Abby reacts lovingly for the first time in the entire show... and then the phone rings. Zack answers it, talks to Abby's father for a few minutes, and then hands the phone over to Abby.

While talking, she goes and gets dressed in the far room, closing the door behind her. Zack looks out the window into the beautiful sunrise for a few hopeful moments, and then picks up the knife Abby tried to kill herself with and hovers outside her door, before retreating into the bathroom and locking the door. The sound of running water is heard. When Abby exits her room, there is a rising white noise, and a blinding spotlight is set on her. She looks at the bathroom door for a moment, and then leaves the apartment.

Overall, I thought “Belleville” was disappointing. I went into the theatre with high hopes for a fabulous show that would amaze me just as much as “Three Sisters” did. This isn’t to say that “Belleville” was bad. In fact, it was quite a remarkable script with some fabulous acting and a stunning set. However, there were some things (which I will go into more detail about) that made me feel uncomfortable, and not in the way that was intended.

First thing’s first: the acting. I thought that all of the dramatic acting was stellar, especially from the female lead, but the same actress’ dialogue at the beginning of the play set me on edge. It’s possible that she was trying to show early on that there was something wrong mentally with her character, but when she was speaking to Alioune (her landlord), or even her husband, the way she spoke seemed like she was “acting” instead of empathizing and being realistic. For such a visceral and realistic play, I think it was a bit jarring that her tone was so showy during the exposition.

Her dramatic acting, as I mentioned before, was beautiful, though. When she was cutting her toenail off, I felt sympathy pains because of her intensity, and her attempted suicide was breathtaking in its realism. I believe that the actor who played Zack did the best job overall, however. He was always believable and knew how to be obvious without being overt about his drug addiction and other personal problems. Subtlety is essential for those kinds of issues.

Another thing that set me off was the ending. Near the end of the play when Zack and Abby were kneeling in front of each other and he answered the phone instead of her, I took it as a moment of symbolism; Abby was going to let Zack back into her heart and Zack was going to stop being antagonistic about her obsessive behaviors with her family. This made the role-reversal, Zack’s suicide, and Abby’s abandonment of her husband that much more heart-wrenching, and not in a way that I though was beneficial. It made me walk out of the theatre intensely disheartened and angry. Why can’t “good plays” end happily? But that’s a rant for another time.

Another scripting issue I had was the very end of the play. The large amount of French dialogue was quite upsetting. I could understand one or two minutes of silence interspersed with French, but five to ten is excessive. Never assume your audience can speak a foreign language, or will be okay with not understanding whole minutes of dialogue. It was very frustrating.

A praise I have is for the set and lighting. BRILLIANT. The set looked like a nice, if well-used, French apartment, complete with lovely artwork, small embellishments on the fireplace, and an outdoor neon sign and street that looked absolutely real. And let’s talk lights for a minute; how do you get lights to look like the morning sun? That’s pure genius. And not only did it look like sun, it like the sun. I was amazed.

All of this being said, I consider “Belleville” a good experience for myself mainly for setting and lighting purposes and some great dramatic acting. I may not have enjoyed all of the play, but it was definitely a good watch, and exceptionally well-done

That's about all I have to say today. I'll probably be doing a review of "Into The Woods" in the near future, because I'm a sucker for Sondheim. In the meantime, Stay classy, Planet Earth!

Love,
Caty